too much to handle

I apologize in advance for the depressing tone of this post. If you don't want to read complaints and negativity then stop reading now. This week has been so difficult. I tried my best to stay busy and as a result I wore myself out. As a coach's wife I try to make his games a priority. His schedule was backwards this week and his game wasn't until tonight at 7:00. I couldn't do it. My back has been bothering me this week and emotionally I'm just a mess. I'm so stressed out about conceiving or not conceiving. I hate having to wait weeks to know! I wish I could know immediately so I could be excited or be planning for next month. It's hard to be with my daughter all day without any help or any break. My house has been a mess, I haven't done any of my weekly chores, and I have no desire to do anything. When my back hurts like this I can't do anything for more than fifteen minutes. I basically get started with something and then have to go lie down for a while. My temper gets so much shorter when I'm hurting and stressed out too. Therefore I have not been a great mother this week. I've been short with Makenzie and had even higher expectations than usual. I don't understand why a few months ago she wanted to do EVERYTHING by herself and now she doesn't. Ever since we started potty training in June she has stopped doing things for herself. Except of course when it's something I'm doing for her then she wants to do it herself. My bad temper is wearing off on her too. She's yelling, throwing fits, and whining all the time. Of course this could be because of her age, but I believe that my bad example is showing through too. It's hard to admit that I'm not that great of a mother. I pride myself on the things I do well, but the past few weeks those have been few and far between. I JUST NEED A BREAK! Football season just started and I'm already counting down the weeks (10 more to go). How am I ever going to do this with two children? Maybe God won't give us another child because I can't handle it.

Photography

"Naked Ladies" that appeared in our front
flower bed.





Jordan and Makenzie watching their Daddies who
have been best friends since 7th grade!


Love this smile!





Eric and Makenzie at Lake Murray. Summer 2010.

Trying to Conceive

So, apparently planning a pregnancy can turn a woman into a crazy person. I'm so concerned with conceiving NOW that I won't let my sweet and extremely exhausted husband sleep! He told me today that he was up for over 20 hours yesterday and that he needed a nap. He will indulge me later. We weren't trying when we got pregnant with our first and it never occurred to me what a miracle it was. There is not a big window of time to get pregnant in. So, I feel like I'm 'begging' my husband to impregnate me. It's really weird and actually VERY stressful. I thought it might be fun to plan the second. The only fun part is not being completely caught off guard. At least we are expecting to get pregnant this time around. By the way this is our first month of officially trying so it will be a while before I post anything about actually being pregnant. We are very practical and will wait the recommended twelve weeks before telling anyone other than family. Please keep us in your prayers as we go through this exciting time in our lives.

Are you ready for some football?

So, it's that time of the year again. I'm about to be a single parent/football widow. I'm actually excited for this season because we live close enough to be involved. It's going to be a busy year for us. Eric and I are both going to be working with the youth at church. I'm also going to be co-teaching a kindergarten class at church. I joined a MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers) group here in Plano last semester and I'm looking forward to an exciting year with them. Not to mention that our sweet daughter is almost two and half years old. She is so much fun and she is so sweet. I really want to eat up every minute I have with her. She is growing up so fast! I've been so blessed in my life and lately it seems like all of my prayers are being answered. I love our family, our church, and we're making friends in our community. I just want to praise God for all that He does for me and how much He loves me! He is so amazing!