Merry Christmas

We had a wonderful Christmas. It started with a weekend at my parent's house with most of my siblings and their significant others. We had a very relaxing and wonderful time. Makenzie had a wonderful time baking sugar cookies, opening presents, and playing with Brutus.







Then we had our second doctor's appointment for baby #2. Everything went well. We saw the baby and it looked great. Our next appointment is Jan. 19th and we should learn the gender if the baby cooperates. The doctor couldn't tell this time because the baby had it's legs closed and the umbilical cord was between it's legs.
Later in the week we received our a large box from my Dad in California. It reminded me of when I was little and used to get boxes from them. Makenzie loves the puppy and the light up Skechers that she got. This is a picture of her dressing up her puppy. I don't think I have any pictures of the shoes, but I'm pretty sure she's worn them everyday since she got them.



We hosted Christmas at our home for my husband's family. It was really wonderful to see them and share in such a wonderful holiday. After dinner my husband read the Christmas story from the Bible and then we opened gifts. Makenzie enjoyed passing out everyone's presents and helping to open them. My husband's Grandparents really spoiled us. We each received a cot for camping and I got a maternity pillow that I had been wanting. It has made my back feel so much better in just the two nights I've slept on it.

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Putting it out there...

So, I'm afraid. I'm afraid to be one of the one in four pregnancies that ends in miscarriage. I can NOT get this thought out of my head. It has haunted me since before I got pregnant. I didn't realize until this year just how prevalent miscarriage is and I'm terrified. I don't know why I'm so afraid. Obviously I would survive it, right? Lots of women do. Or would it be such a debilitating loss that I wouldn't survive? Would I be forever changed? Am I strong enough to survive it like so many of my dear friends have?
Not to mention my back pain that is probably the result of a bulging disc that will likely herniate during labor and delivery, assuming I make it that far.
Why can't I be like my husband with his worry free attitude and amazing faith? He worries about NOTHING. He believes that worrying is a waste of time. I couldn't agree more, but I don't know how to stop. It's like I'm addicted to worrying.
I'm praying everyday for this child's health and development. I'm also praying that I stop worrying so much about the "what ifs." Please pray for me too.

Second Trimester-13 weeks

I'm feeling so much better! No more vomiting and limited nausea. However my back is KILLING me. I can't walk/stand/sit for more than 20 minutes or so. For example, today I went to three stores and by the end of it I was hurting badly. I felt this way at the END of my pregnancy with Makenzie so I'm disappointed to already be feeling this way. I would love to see my chiropractor to get some help but our medical bills are already piling up!
Recently Makenzie has began asking questions about the baby. When I'm eating she asks me if the baby likes what I'm eating or drinking. She is constantly asking what the baby's name is. We only have a boy name picked out and we don't know the gender yet. So she says, "Well if it's a boy his name is Parker." She asked to feel the baby yesterday. It was so cute for her to put her hand on my tummy and try to feel the baby.
I haven't noticed my tummy getting bigger yet. However, I have been wearing maternity clothes just to avoid anything pushing on my nauseated stomach. I did feel the baby move yesterday! It felt like it was kicking me! It was awesome! Can't wait to find out what we're having and to really start "feeling" pregnant.