Christmas 2011 Smilebox

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Christmas Season Ramblings

I enjoy reading other people's blogs so much! I often don't post anything on mine because I spend so much time reading others. I want my memories to be recorded here, but I tend to only put the "good" stuff. Lord knows that my whole life isn't peaches and cream. I want to be more real on my blog. It may help others to know the truth about my life. I am very blessed and I have a great life, but I have bad days just like everyone else.
My most recent bad day was the day after Thanksgiving. Thanks a lot postpartum hormones! I have really been struggling since about six weeks postpartum. I've been diagnosed with postpartum depression. I've been seeing a counselor and taking an antidepressant medication. I'm so thankful to the woman who provided the funds to take care of myself during this time. Without her I wouldn't have afforded the treatment that I needed. I am forever grateful to her for her generosity. So, back to the day after Thanksgiving: I hadn't slept in two days, thanks to crying babies, and apparently I was hormonal. I started crying about something and couldn't stop. Then I had a sad thought about me being in heaven and my children not being there. I was so sad thinking about missing them because I was in heaven and they weren't. Ugh, stinking hormones like to kick you when your down. My husband tried to encourage me by reminding me that there aren't any tears in heaven. I replied that I don't know how...but I guess that's what faith is for. It's in the Bible and I choose to believe it! Needless to say I contacted my doctor as soon as possible and asked to increase my dosage. She obliged and we'll see how it goes. I just started it this past Sunday.

I'm so excited for Christmas! We're staying home with our kids on Christmas Day. It'll just be the four of us! Yeah!!!
I've been going crazy with my camera lately. I want to capture everything! This is Parker's first Christmas and I'm so excited. Makenzie and Parker are really bonding and loving on another. They seem to speak their own language to each other. I'm so thankful for the two of them. I'm thankful for Parker to have such a great big sister who loves him so much. I pray that they continue to love each other as they grow. That can be such a special relationship. I'm thankful that Parker is such an easy baby. He has fit into our family so seamlessly. They are both such a blessing to me and our family. I can't imagine my life without them and look forward to all of the memories that we are going to create.