Censored

 
Censorship:  the control of speech and other forms of human expression.
I have a big mouth. I talk a lot and usually without much of a filter. I remember vividly getting in trouble for sharing private family matters at school when I was younger. I remember being censored by my parents when I wanted to give a mentor a very heartfelt letter of appreciation. Even as an adult I have people telling me what I can share with others. When do I get to stop being the censored child?

I'm ready to find my voice and feel comfortable to share what I want to. What if my honest struggles help someone else? What if just knowing that someone else is going through hard times too is a comfort to someone else? I'm THIRTY years old. I think it's time for me to stop worrying about what other people think and JUST BE ME.

Behind the Scenes: A Messy Reality

How does the saying go? "Don't compare your 'behind the scenes' to someone else's 'highlight reel.'" It's so hard not to. Especially when I read blogs about people who seem to really love and enjoy their children. I spend most of my time tolerating my children. Isn't that sad? Sometimes I wish I could see them through someone else's eyes. Everyone else notices how special, gifted, sweet, gentle, and kind my children are. While I "know" these things about my kids. These are not the portrayed traits that I spend my day in contact with. I see and hear LOTS of whining, crying, disobedience, and disrespect. It makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong. I've heard that you shouldn't take too much credit for the good things your child does, but what about the bad things? I take credit for all of it and I take it very personally.

I really want to spend time enjoying my kids. We do have good times together, but I often feel like an outsider looking in. I'm often the referee or the security guard. I'm often not interacting as much as I am just present.
 

Let's just say that my behind the scenes is ugly. I hope mine isn't the only one.

Does this mean that I shouldn't be a stay at home mom? If I had a job outside of the home and spent time away from them would I enjoy them more? Could I be more present and involved if I didn't spend so much time resenting them for what I'm not getting done? Aha, the truth comes out.

DIY Family Rules Subway Art

This started out as a Parisian art canvas with rod iron trim. I removed the metal trim and then painted the canvas with acrylic paint. Once I decided what I wanted it to say I started separating the vinyl letters. I bought the letters at Target in the art supplies section-they were cheaper than at Walmart.

I used a pencil to draw a one inch border on each side. Then I drew horizontal lines every three inches so I would have equal spacing. I positioned and adhered all of my words making sure to not put them directly on top of the pencil marks.

Once everything was down I painted the whole thing with Satin Granite Grey spray paint. I did two coats. Once it was no longer tacky I removed the vinyl letters.

Here is the final product. I really love the way it turned out.