So, I'm afraid. I'm afraid to be one of the one in four pregnancies that ends in miscarriage. I can NOT get this thought out of my head. It has haunted me since before I got pregnant. I didn't realize until this year just how prevalent miscarriage is and I'm terrified. I don't know why I'm so afraid. Obviously I would survive it, right? Lots of women do. Or would it be such a debilitating loss that I wouldn't survive? Would I be forever changed? Am I strong enough to survive it like so many of my dear friends have?
Not to mention my back pain that is probably the result of a bulging disc that will likely herniate during labor and delivery, assuming I make it that far.
Why can't I be like my husband with his worry free attitude and amazing faith? He worries about NOTHING. He believes that worrying is a waste of time. I couldn't agree more, but I don't know how to stop. It's like I'm addicted to worrying.
I'm praying everyday for this child's health and development. I'm also praying that I stop worrying so much about the "what ifs." Please pray for me too.
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