Merry Christmas

We had a wonderful Christmas. It started with a weekend at my parent's house with most of my siblings and their significant others. We had a very relaxing and wonderful time. Makenzie had a wonderful time baking sugar cookies, opening presents, and playing with Brutus.







Then we had our second doctor's appointment for baby #2. Everything went well. We saw the baby and it looked great. Our next appointment is Jan. 19th and we should learn the gender if the baby cooperates. The doctor couldn't tell this time because the baby had it's legs closed and the umbilical cord was between it's legs.
Later in the week we received our a large box from my Dad in California. It reminded me of when I was little and used to get boxes from them. Makenzie loves the puppy and the light up Skechers that she got. This is a picture of her dressing up her puppy. I don't think I have any pictures of the shoes, but I'm pretty sure she's worn them everyday since she got them.



We hosted Christmas at our home for my husband's family. It was really wonderful to see them and share in such a wonderful holiday. After dinner my husband read the Christmas story from the Bible and then we opened gifts. Makenzie enjoyed passing out everyone's presents and helping to open them. My husband's Grandparents really spoiled us. We each received a cot for camping and I got a maternity pillow that I had been wanting. It has made my back feel so much better in just the two nights I've slept on it.

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Putting it out there...

So, I'm afraid. I'm afraid to be one of the one in four pregnancies that ends in miscarriage. I can NOT get this thought out of my head. It has haunted me since before I got pregnant. I didn't realize until this year just how prevalent miscarriage is and I'm terrified. I don't know why I'm so afraid. Obviously I would survive it, right? Lots of women do. Or would it be such a debilitating loss that I wouldn't survive? Would I be forever changed? Am I strong enough to survive it like so many of my dear friends have?
Not to mention my back pain that is probably the result of a bulging disc that will likely herniate during labor and delivery, assuming I make it that far.
Why can't I be like my husband with his worry free attitude and amazing faith? He worries about NOTHING. He believes that worrying is a waste of time. I couldn't agree more, but I don't know how to stop. It's like I'm addicted to worrying.
I'm praying everyday for this child's health and development. I'm also praying that I stop worrying so much about the "what ifs." Please pray for me too.

Second Trimester-13 weeks

I'm feeling so much better! No more vomiting and limited nausea. However my back is KILLING me. I can't walk/stand/sit for more than 20 minutes or so. For example, today I went to three stores and by the end of it I was hurting badly. I felt this way at the END of my pregnancy with Makenzie so I'm disappointed to already be feeling this way. I would love to see my chiropractor to get some help but our medical bills are already piling up!
Recently Makenzie has began asking questions about the baby. When I'm eating she asks me if the baby likes what I'm eating or drinking. She is constantly asking what the baby's name is. We only have a boy name picked out and we don't know the gender yet. So she says, "Well if it's a boy his name is Parker." She asked to feel the baby yesterday. It was so cute for her to put her hand on my tummy and try to feel the baby.
I haven't noticed my tummy getting bigger yet. However, I have been wearing maternity clothes just to avoid anything pushing on my nauseated stomach. I did feel the baby move yesterday! It felt like it was kicking me! It was awesome! Can't wait to find out what we're having and to really start "feeling" pregnant.

I'm really late on posting Halloween pictures, or anything, on my blog, but here they are: (better late than never).


The sweetest little Minnie Mouse I've ever seen!

"Trick or Treating" with Daddy.

Cooper, Jordan, and Makenzie at the Prestonwood Carnival.

She loved the pony ride and of course had to be on the horse with the pink hair. Who's name was "Prince."

First Trimester-Ten Weeks

I'm in my tenth week of pregnancy and I'm starting to feel better. I began taking Prilosec OTC a few days ago and it has helped tremendously with my heartburn, nausea, and vomiting. I don't know why it helps with the nausea and vomiting, but who cares. At least I'm not throwing up everyday and feeling like I'd rather not get out of bed. I have been much less busy lately. Makenzie and I are only doing one or two activities per week and spending a lot more time at home.
I can hardly wait for next Wednesday. I have my first official OB appointment. My last appointment was considered an emergency and was because of my bleeding. I'm hoping to get great news and hopefully see a strong and healthy little baby growing. I can feel my uterus getting bigger and I've been wearing maternity pants for about a week because I can't stand to have anything tight around my stomach. They are a little too big for now, but it's really all I have in the way of winter clothes so it really works out just fine.
After my appointment next week I'm going to post all of these saved up blogs I've been doing over the past few weeks. I'm excited to hear everyone's response. I think several of my close friends have an idea that something is going on and may even suspect pregnancy, but I'm not sure. I'm so ready for the great news to be out there. We are really excited about adding another person to our family.

First Trimester-Nine weeks

So, I had two great days of no throwing up...and then today came and I was sick again. I'm getting better at eating less and often. It has not been easy to feel sick all the time and pretend like nothing is going on. I can hardly wait to tell people so maybe I'll get some sympathy!

First Trimester Scare

So only a few days after my seven weeks post I began spotting. I'd never experienced anything like that and I was terrified! Of course it didn't happen until 10:30 at night and wasn't enough to warrant a trip to the hospital. So I was at the doctor's office shortly after they opened the following morning. My doctor was out of town and I had to be worked in to see another doctor in the practice. After a physical exam and sonogram we were relieved to see a healthy baby with perfect heartbeat. There is no explanation as to why I was bleeding and the doctor informed me that it could continue for a week. So this is the end of that week and I'm still spotting. No other symptoms to speak of and hopefully it will stay that way. I'll see my doctor in either two or four weeks depending on my symptoms. For the first time in the short pregnancy I'm happy to feel like crap because that confirms that I'm still pregnant. Never thought I'd be happy to have nausea and vomiting. I must say that this experience has reinforced how much I want this pregnancy and how much I want to enjoy every moment I have left with Makenzie as an only child. I know that our lives are going to change dramatically over the next few months and especially when the child is born. I want so much to relish every moment with her and reinforce that she's not being replaced. I know she is going to be such a big helper, a great big sister, and I look forward to the bond between her and her sibling.
I am believing in God that this pregnancy is going to continue safely. If it doesn't, He will be with me through it.

First Trimester-Seven Weeks

This may be an announcement for some. Eric and I are expecting our second child! We are very excited. We have managed to not tell anyone and are going to try and keep it that way until Thanksgiving. I'll be almost twelve weeks at that point and it'll be safe to tell everyone. Plus we want to announce it with Makenzie wearing a "big sister" t-shirt. I can't wait for everyone's reactions. Especially my parents since we were just at their house and I managed to not tell them. I'm not very good at keeping secrets. I'm writing this as a memoir of how I'm feeling and how my pregnancy is progressing.

Oh, first trimester how I loath you! Although you are the messenger of great news that I am expecting a second child. I remember feeling slightly nauseous with a LOT of heartburn when I was pregnant with Makenzie. This time around I am feeling worse and worse everyday. Today, October 25th, I am seven weeks pregnant. Today I've thrown up twice and yesterday we had to pull over on the side of the highway for me to throw up on the way home from my parents house. I've been napping almost daily for the past month even before I found out I was pregnant. I have little to no motivation to do anything but lay on the couch. My temper is short and my patience is very low. It's much harder this time around having to take care of a child instead of just going to work. When I was pregnant with Makenzie I worked a high pace and high stress job so I didn't have much time to think about not feeling well. It seems that now all I do is think about how awful I feel. I'm working hard at eating healthier, slower, and more often as a way to curb my nausea and vomiting. I was only sick once with Makenzie and I've already been sick three times in two days this time around. My mother was sick through her first trimester with both of my brothers and was only sick with me once.

Proud to be a Coach's Wife

I am a Coach's Wife, I am married to a football coach. The best kind of coach, the kind that you want to coach your child, the kind that is there for all of the right reasons, the kind that would give his own life to save the life of one of his players. I cheer for not one child but every child. I don't have a son on the team or a daughter on the sidelines but in my heart they are all mine. I am a coach's wife. I give up my husband and my life for 5 months so that he can be a mentor to a child. We eat apart all but one night a week and on Thursday and Friday nights I come home to an empty house. We are a coaching family. I am proud of my husband and I am proud to be a Coach's Wife!

(This was copied from another Coach's Wife blog and adjusted to my life. It's amazing how we experience this "job" as a ministry. I'm proud to stand next to my husband and support him)

ALWAYS.SOMETIMES.NEVER

Thought I'd try to do something fun:

I always...
tell my husband "I love you" when we get off the phone
pray with my daughter when I put her to bed
watch TV as soon as I put my daughter to bed
love watching FRIENDS reruns
wish I spent more time exercising
lock the doors and keep the blinds closed

I sometimes...
enjoy cooking and shopping
miss my Mom so much that I HAVE to call her
worry about what I would do if something happened to my husband or daughter
wish I was an athlete
do something just to prove that I can

I never...
wish I could eat at home instead of out
do enough housework
do the laundry (thanks to my husband)
get tired of hearing and seeing my daughter laugh
expected to be where I am today

too much to handle

I apologize in advance for the depressing tone of this post. If you don't want to read complaints and negativity then stop reading now. This week has been so difficult. I tried my best to stay busy and as a result I wore myself out. As a coach's wife I try to make his games a priority. His schedule was backwards this week and his game wasn't until tonight at 7:00. I couldn't do it. My back has been bothering me this week and emotionally I'm just a mess. I'm so stressed out about conceiving or not conceiving. I hate having to wait weeks to know! I wish I could know immediately so I could be excited or be planning for next month. It's hard to be with my daughter all day without any help or any break. My house has been a mess, I haven't done any of my weekly chores, and I have no desire to do anything. When my back hurts like this I can't do anything for more than fifteen minutes. I basically get started with something and then have to go lie down for a while. My temper gets so much shorter when I'm hurting and stressed out too. Therefore I have not been a great mother this week. I've been short with Makenzie and had even higher expectations than usual. I don't understand why a few months ago she wanted to do EVERYTHING by herself and now she doesn't. Ever since we started potty training in June she has stopped doing things for herself. Except of course when it's something I'm doing for her then she wants to do it herself. My bad temper is wearing off on her too. She's yelling, throwing fits, and whining all the time. Of course this could be because of her age, but I believe that my bad example is showing through too. It's hard to admit that I'm not that great of a mother. I pride myself on the things I do well, but the past few weeks those have been few and far between. I JUST NEED A BREAK! Football season just started and I'm already counting down the weeks (10 more to go). How am I ever going to do this with two children? Maybe God won't give us another child because I can't handle it.

Photography

"Naked Ladies" that appeared in our front
flower bed.





Jordan and Makenzie watching their Daddies who
have been best friends since 7th grade!


Love this smile!





Eric and Makenzie at Lake Murray. Summer 2010.

Trying to Conceive

So, apparently planning a pregnancy can turn a woman into a crazy person. I'm so concerned with conceiving NOW that I won't let my sweet and extremely exhausted husband sleep! He told me today that he was up for over 20 hours yesterday and that he needed a nap. He will indulge me later. We weren't trying when we got pregnant with our first and it never occurred to me what a miracle it was. There is not a big window of time to get pregnant in. So, I feel like I'm 'begging' my husband to impregnate me. It's really weird and actually VERY stressful. I thought it might be fun to plan the second. The only fun part is not being completely caught off guard. At least we are expecting to get pregnant this time around. By the way this is our first month of officially trying so it will be a while before I post anything about actually being pregnant. We are very practical and will wait the recommended twelve weeks before telling anyone other than family. Please keep us in your prayers as we go through this exciting time in our lives.

Are you ready for some football?

So, it's that time of the year again. I'm about to be a single parent/football widow. I'm actually excited for this season because we live close enough to be involved. It's going to be a busy year for us. Eric and I are both going to be working with the youth at church. I'm also going to be co-teaching a kindergarten class at church. I joined a MOPS (Moms of Preschoolers) group here in Plano last semester and I'm looking forward to an exciting year with them. Not to mention that our sweet daughter is almost two and half years old. She is so much fun and she is so sweet. I really want to eat up every minute I have with her. She is growing up so fast! I've been so blessed in my life and lately it seems like all of my prayers are being answered. I love our family, our church, and we're making friends in our community. I just want to praise God for all that He does for me and how much He loves me! He is so amazing!

almost two!

Makenzie's second birthday is sunday. It's so hard to believe that she's almost two years old. I love her so much! She has started praying and singing lately. I'll say, "Dear God, thank you for..." and she fills it in with, "Mommy, Daddy, Jack-bear, my bed, my blanket, ME, my Mary, my pacifier, my house..." It is so sweet to hear her talking to God.

She has also started singing with me. She sings "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star," "It's Raining, It's Pouring," and "This Little Light of Mine." I'll post pics after her birthday. btw, Minnine Mouse is not easy to find. I promised Makenzie a Minnie Mouse cake and have not been able to find one. I wish I was skilled in cake decorating so I could've made her one myself. I think she's gonna have to settle for a cupcake with a Minnie Mouse figurine on it.

Snow Day!

Woke up this morning to the neighborhood covered in snow and lots of it still coming down. The flakes have gotten bigger as the day as progressed. It looks so beautiful outside. I took Makenzie out in it after bundling her up as much as I could. She was really excited about it when she was inside, but not so much when she was out in it. We attempted a snow man and I made a snow angel...but neither turned out so great. It was a lot of fun to be out of the house and playing in the snow. I wouldn't want snow around all the time, but once or twice during the winter would be fine.

Jack enjoying the snow. He's looking for his tennis ball.

All bundled up and ready to play!

After we came in it was time to eat! And then take a nap. We all wish Eric could've been home with us to play in the snow. He would've built an awesome snow man!

I GOT IT!!!

Thanks to our tax refund, God, and my wonderful husband, I was able to purchase my first(and probably only) DSLR. I bought the Nikon D5000. It came with two lenses: a standard wide angle and a slightly telephoto zoom. I'm very excited about this purchase. I look forward to learning more about photography and unlocking this amazing camera's capabilities. Luckily for me I bought it at Wolf Camera who offers free digital photography classes! I can also take friends if anyone is interested. As soon as I get some great pics I will post them.
Also, friends and family: If you want to have some portraits taken I could use the practice. No charge(except for the CD). I'll burn you a CD of the prints and they'll be yours to do with as you wish.

Random ranting

Why is it so hard to get out of the house on time? I get up "early" and get myself completely ready and then I get Makenzie up. Well, today I got Makenzie up at the time we should've been leaving the house! So I'm rushing her to get dressed, I feed her "breakfast" in the car, and then I'm exhausted by the time we make it to where we're going. Thankfully the place we were going today was a women's bible study at church. So I left there feeling much better than I did when I arrived. Now I expect that after an early morning wake up call and playing with other kids all morning Makenzie would be ready for a long nap. However, I put her down at two o'clock after eating lunch...and she's still awake an hour later. So much for that three hour nap I was hoping for to get the house clean before my parents come over tomorrow. Plus, the plumber just called to say he'd be here in the morning to install the new toilet. Why clean your house when a workman is going to be in and out all morning? I'll blog complete details about the bathroom renovation once the project is complete. Let's just say that what was supposed to take a weekend is now going on two weeks plus! (and the stove is going out!) Back to my original question about getting out of the house on time. I was grateful to hear that most of the women in my bible study have the same problem, even those that don't have little ones!
Another interesting thing I found out at bible study is that most of the women in our group had really bad childhoods in regards to their hair. You know those years where you just want to mark yourself out of the yearbook because of an awful hairstyle? Or in my case a whole decade and more of bad hairstyles. I didn't start having "good" hair until I was in college. It made me feel better that I wasn't the only one. I hope that some how my rant brings some joy to others in knowing that we're all in this together and not as different as we may sometimes think.

Paint Project

Last week I painted a picture frame at the MOPS meeting. I also picked up a blank one for Makenzie and I to do together at home. So here are the pictures of how that turned out. She did a really good job. Unfortunately I don't think the project lasted long enough for her. She would of kept piling on the paint if I would've let her. I never thought I would be letting my two year old paint by herself, but she did a really great job.

almost Wordless Wednesday

We started the day with hot chocolate!


The picture frame I made at the MOPS group.


Mommy and her favorite girl!

Great Day

I had the best day with Makenzie today. We played with playdough, glue and glitter, colored, and worked in her sticker book. It was a day full of child focused activities and it was so much fun. With my upcoming "muffin tin munchies" I'm even excited about preparing her snacks and meals to come up with fun combinations! It's amazing how contagious enthusiasm can be! Because Eric was going to be out a Mavs game tonight I planned a movie night for Makenzie and I. We watched, "Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs" and ate ice cream(her favorite). It was really nice. She actually sat for most of the movie. I haven't seen her this happy for a whole day before. Maybe it's because I was too. Thank you Lord for the wonderful privilege of raising Makenzie. I pray that I will lead her in your way.

.

This is my favorite picture of Makenzie and I. She was four months old.

Inspired

I'm so impressed and inspired by the blogs of other mothers. Especially those that do planned weekly activities with their kids. Such as Muffin Tin Munchies and letter of the week activities. I am planning on doing these things with Makenzie as soon as I get the supplies that I need. I look forward to posting pictures and blogging about our new fun activities soon.

We are currently going through a bathroom renovation at our house. What was planned to take a weekend is maybe half way through and it's Tuesday. Looks like everyone is taking a break for today, thank goodness because we need a break too, but I really can't wait for everything to be complete! I'll post some before and after pics as soon as things are complete. I have really enjoyed meeting the many people that have assisted with this project. It's nice to talk to people that have such a close bond to other people in their community. And I appreciate them extending that to us as well.

Makenzie has been really wonderful the past few days. I believe it's for a few reasons: I've been focusing on her more and I'm appreciating her more too. I've been reading all of these blogs about these moms of sick children and I realized that I am not near grateful enough for what I have. Obviously we're not out of the woods yet, most of these kids weren't diagnosed until after the age of two, but either way their stories have caused me to be aware of what I have and the finiteness of life.

Here are a few fun pictures of Makenzie from this morning playing with playdough.

I also wanted to share some things about Makenzie at this wonderful stage of her life (23 months).

Here are some things she LOVES:

-ANNABELLE and SARA (her babies)

-COLORING

-STICKERS!!!

-ICE CREAM (as seen in a previous blog) When she pretends to feed her babies it's either ice cream or grapes :)

-FRUIT

-PLAYING OUTSIDE

-"SEEING JACK" also known as playing outside...she'll say, "I need to see Jack Bear.", but what she really means is, "I need to go outside and play in my playhouse."

-her DADDY

-BOOKS, especially her toddler bible for girls that she got at Christmas

-HELPING MOMMY

- PINK BLANKET ("pink bank, I need my pink bank!")

-MARY, her lamb

-PINK PACIFIER, she pretty much uses two pacifiers(one in the car, one in bed) and both of them are pink!

Makenzie is amazing! She is speaking in complete sentences. She says please and thank you regularly. I have to be her translator sometimes, but most of the time even strangers can understand what she's saying. She is very sweet and happy, but she doesn't smile a lot. She tends to keep a serious look on her face because she's always trying to figure something out. She is very detail oriented. If she moves something when she puts it back it has to be exactly how she found it. She follows instructions well unless it's bedtime or bathtime and then it's a little more of a challenge to get her to do what you want. Everything in our house comes with a warning to give her some sense of control over her schedule. She gets a five minute warning before bath, bed, and nap times. I often use it at other times too just to have a more favorable attitude from her. I love her so much and she provides me with purpose and joy everyday. I hope that one day she will truly know how much I love her.

Christmas Present

We finally put Makenzie's Christmas present together and Makenzie loves it!

I SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!!!

Not a lot going on. Just living between tantrums and ice cream. That's the life of a mother of a two year old. February is going to be a busy month. Hopefully I'll have a lot of pictures to post and talk about.

Wordless Wednesday